My son doesn’t like to be around people too much especially new people for that matter. If he deals with you more than likely you are around him so much that he feels comfortable being himself. Don’t get me wrong, I am not raising him to not be himself around other people, but if he doesn’t know you he will not be bothered with you and will not show you his full potential (which is running around and being goofy). Even after being at his daycare “new school” for a year he is still quite and talks very little, and he’s known the staff and kids for a year now.
Cos also does not like chaos or loud groups. He is okay if he is there for the beginning of what will be loud kids running around or in small groups playing, but to walk into that will result in shutdown mode until he is comfortable.
This is a part of my babies personality and I love it! To change and make him accept people would be changing him, and for me that is something I would never do. I’m sure he will grow out of it eventually, or maybe never, who knows but for right now I’m not going to tell him his feelings are not what he should be feeling.
The only thing I do try to get him to do is speak (Hi is just fine) other than that if he doesn’t want to shake hands he doesn’t have to shake hands, give hugs, or whatever that person is trying to get him to do.
With all that being said, Cos recently had his end of the year program at his “new school” (he has been attending his school for a year now, but hey I won’t tell him differently). I knew he probably wouldn’t like the idea of being on stage in front of what would be a lot of people and sleep would influence his feelings due to being at his “new school” all day, but I didn’t want to take the experience away from him. Plus I knew if we didn’t go he would be mad that he did not get to participate and show what he had been working on for weeks. While the kids were walking into the room he automatically got serious and put on his cry face. And as soon as he saw us he started bawling to the point of disruption. I knew it was the amount of people that had him scared and crying because we have already established he doesn’t like people.
So he wouldn’t ruin the program for the other people attending I went up to him while he was standing near the stairs of the stage and calmed him down enough for him to sit on the stairs. I’m proud of him for stepping out of his comfort zone and at least staying on the stairs of the stage and not trying to follow me back to my seat. He didn’t really participate but at least he was able to experience something new.